A Daughter's Dilemma

Posted on Thu Apr 6th, 2023 @ 5:59am by Captain Malcom Llwyedd & Commander Cynfor Rees & Lieutenant Commander Rhiana t'Aegis & Lieutenant Commander Jörgen Leed

2,780 words; about a 14 minute read

Mission: Prelude to Rebirth
Location: Starfleet Academy
Timeline: 03 March 2396

[ON]

The constant of this aviary was the bird song. It swept through the great variety of canopied trees, and fluttered through the air like leaves in the wind. Bird song crackled from the innumerable branches, hummed around the tall hedges and fat bushes, and zipped around her head. On most days it was like a lovely orchestra warming up all its varied instruments that both clashed and yet melded together beautifully. On most days Helle could lose herself amidst it all. On most days the aviary brushed the anxieties of Academy life off of her.

Today nothing could calm her as she studied the open posts on ships, stations, and universities. She could almost hear them drumming their fingers impatiently. There was no need to study the PADD for she knew the information on them by heart. It was the choice that eluded her amid the discordant voices in her head. Today, all she could hear in the aviary was noise. Incessant, irritating noise!

A group of cadets, laughing at some private joke, spilled into the aviary, flowing towards the benches that allowed one to enjoy the birds and the trees. The sun was shining through the aviary containment field, a real treat for San Francisco. One of the gaggle of cadets saw a friend sitting alone and peeled off from the pack. He said a few words to the rest and then beelined for where Helle sat.

In his time at Starfleet T'plin had managed to find a way to acclimate and enjoy the social aspects of the academy. He'd become friends with Helle during an advanced Mathematics class when they'd been paired together for a group project. He could see that she was worried because she was tapping one of the PADDS against her knee in a rhythmic fashion.

"Good day to you, Helle," T'plin said. "Would you mind terribly if I joined you?

Glancing over, Helle lifted her hands as if to show she didn't care. Or to surrender. "If you really want to. I'm not very good company right now."

"Neither is T'plin," another cadet commented with an audible smile and a teasing tone as she appeared from behind the Vulcan. Erin Sullivan had met Helle during their first weeks at Starfleet Academy and the two girls had bonded during a particularly harsh and muddy cross-country obstacle run. "Just kidding," she added a second later to keep T'plin from sending her one of his Vulcan-neutral yet always seemingly disapproving looks when she was making jokes at his expense. She wasn't being mean and she knew where to draw the line. "What's the matter, Helle?"

"I am excellent company, Cadet Sullivan," T'plin said, raising an eyebrow as he turned to face the new cadet. "Any suggestion to the contrary would be an unfounded accusation, and possibly a hallmark of a person possessing a lack of self-confidence. However, I would also like to know the answer to the question you have passed." The Vulcan turned back to Helle. "If you would like to share your predicament with us."

"Everyone is so excited their getting on with their lives and---" She was cut off by yet another arrival, like acorns dropping from trees.

Xeres had been over the moon since getting his assignment for post-graduation. He would be assigned to the USS Pioneer, his first choice. He came to the aviary to share the news with his friend Helle Leed. Xeres was not surprised when he found her sitting with T'plin. "Helle good day to you, and to you as well T'plin. May I join you both?" The Bolian's smile was ear to ear.

Helle tried to force down the smile that bubbled up. She wasn't ready to stop feeling miserable. The two forces met, tumbled around each other, and burst out as a sort of sneeze and snort combined. "You're all too happy. Even you, T'plin. So now you have to tell me which post to take because I can't. I got my request to join the USS Biko--an actual Oberth-class science vessel! But then I was offered a post on the USS Firebird, too."

Xeres took a seat and bit into a sandwich that he had for lunch. When he swallowed he looked toward Helle with excitement. "That is a tough decision indeed. Getting your first choice assignment but also being offered a posting on a ship like the Firebird. If I were you I would take the Firebird, the opportunity to work with a seasoned crew like that does not come often. I am sure that you can learn volumes from them. Add to that the reputation... I envy you I do."

Erin began shaking her head as soon as Xeres said that it was a tough decision. She was, however, polite enough to let him say his bit before she spoke. "It's exactly because of the Firebird's reputation that you should refuse that position. Do you want to have a black mark on your record from your very first assignment??" She sounded incredulous that anyone in their right mind would hesitate in that situation.

T'plin pressed his fingers together. "You should not let emotions drive your decision," he said and glanced at Erin. "You also should not fall victim to recency bias. You are correct that the Firebird has been part of a scandal. But we do not have all of the facts surrounding what actually occurred. We do know that its Captain was demoted. However, he still remains in command. I also know that their Marine detachment was transferred to the USS Aberdeen and they have added significant science capabilities. Alternatively, the Biko is rumored to be taking on a deep space science survey. The question is, what type of experience do you seek?"

Xeres practically leapt out of his seat at Erin's words. "Black mark... Black mark? Starfleet does not want people who blindly follow orders. They want people who can make the big decisions who can save the galaxy. The Firebird's crew are just those people. Other than the Marines the rest of the crew has been kept together. One has to wonder why that is. If things were as bad as Erin would have us believe why would they keep the crew together?"

Erin rolled her eyes at T'plin's oh-so-Vulcan remark about emotions. She liked him as a friend, but she had never been able to see eye to eye with him about emotions. "If they really did keep the crew together, they probably did it to better keep an eye on them. It's easier to steer one ship than trying to oversee a few dozen subversive elements that are dispersed all over the fleet. Starfleet may want people who make big decisions, as you say, Xeres, but they aren't going to be rewarding the crew of the Firebird. Taking away the Marine detachment and adding more science equipment instead? That just means that the ship's going to be sent to the most boring places of the galaxy to observe nothing. The Biko is a proper science vessel. They have a good reputation. They will get the assignments for once-in-a-lifetime scientific discoveries. Helle," she turned to look from the two men to the woman, "You'll have far better opportunities aboard the Biko if you want to advance in a scientific career."

Words like "black mark" and "subversive" pinged around her head faster than Helle could collect herself. She only half-heard her friends until, in front of their watchful faces, the last comment sank in. "Oh. Well, I think you're right about the Bilko. They've already accepted a request to use the astrometrics lab to test some theories about crystalline life forms and I'd work with some great people, probably, but,..." her voice suddenly rose and she looked past her friends' faces into the distance. "It's the Firebird! My dad's told me so many stories it would be like living an adventure holonovel but in real life. And I'd get to work with my dad. But a black mark... would it really ruin my career?"

T'plin considered the question. "I estimate that there is a twenty-two percent chance that your career will be negatively affected by serving on the Firebird but I also estimate that there will be a fifty-four percent chance that your career will be neither positively nor negatively affected. Finally, there is a twenty-four percent chance that your career will benefit from having served on the ship," T'plin said. "Of course, I am basing these numbers off of the available data regarding the ship, its crew, and the potential change in Starfleet policies. It is a highly volatile calculation."

Xeres could not believe his ears. He understood T'plin's standing she was a Vulcan, no emotion just numbers. But Erin's standing that was what got to him. "The lack of Marines simply means that where they are going they are not going to need an armed force. The fleet has taken whatever the crew did and dealt with it. I am sure that a crew like the Firebird's will be sent on first contact missions and critical discoveries. Add to that the opportunity to work with legends, and your father being one of them. I know that I certainly envy you."

"Exactly: they'll not be going anywhere interesting anymore." Elin was a security major and tended to thrive on extreme experiences. "The crew practically caused a war. Do you really think they'll be sent to diplomacy missions? Or trusted with critical discoveries? Please." She rolled her eyes at Xeres before she looked at Helle again. "Do you really want to serve with your dad? It's a small ship. There's no space to avoid him. You'll see him all. The. Time. And you'll always be Commander Leed's daughter instead of being Ensign Leed, biologist. Others might begrudge you anything positive that happens to you, saying that you only get it because you're Commander Leed's daughter, not because you actually deserved it. Do you really want to spend the next few years in your father's shadow?"

"Being with Dad would be awesome! I'd love to serve with him and he knows he'll get a face full of my personal business if he pokes his nose in. I live my life. But I do worry that there won't be space to have my personal business, you know? Even if they are pretty legendary in the history books already." She blushed a little as her fantasy, pirate-in-the-sky side took over. Xeres knew that side a little too well. It's a good thing none of her friends were Betazoids. "Elin, no way they'll mothball my dad. He's been too important and didn't do anything wrong but I think T'plin's calculation that it will boost my career might be a little optimistic. Xeres, why are you so sure the Firebird will be sent to do all those amazing things?"

"I am a Bolian and as such I know organizations and the way they operate, it is what my species is known for. That said, I am sure that the Firebird will be sent on critical missions. First off there is evidence to back me up. There are countless crews who have done what the Firebird did and worse and have continued to work. I cite the USS Enterprise, various incarnations, and the USS Defiant under the command of Captain Sisko as examples. Add to that experienced officers are not easy to come by. If Command was not going to use that ship or its officers for critical service they would have been reassigned. Think about it if they needed to keep an eye on them as has been said that could be done anywhere. If I were you I would take the Firebird the lessons you can learn there would set you up for quite the illustrious career." Xeres motioned with his hands as he spoke to emphasize his points. Satisfied he had proven his logic so even a Vulcan could understand he sat back and smiled.

"Ha, I knew someone else would see it the way I do," Helle said, throwing up a handful of leaves and watching them shower around her. "The crew has really messed up but they're also responsible for some big successes. There has to be a secret mission we don't know about, one that will require a distinguished diplomat with an unblemished record. Without the Marines, the science lab is expanding. I'm sure this will end up helping me. Right?" She looked from Xeres to Erin to T'Plin, her excited smile slowly looking a little more forced. The certainty looks more artificial.

Xeres smiled broadly and laughed. "Now you see it, don't you? This fleet of ours moves in mysterious ways. Too right you are there, too right you are." He tried to reinforce her faith in the Firebird and in her father. "I think you have made your decision."

"There is no mystery to be found in Starfleet's actions, I assure you. There are simply data points that you do not have access to. The only mystery is the one that you have inside you. What emotions will you allow to rule your decision? Humans often work by instinct, which I do not entirely understand. You have sought our input and we have given it, some more effectively than others. But I suspect that your desire to serve with your father and your instincts about the Firebird are the factors that are most pertinent."

Even though she was clearly outnumbered, Erin was not ready to accept defeat just yet. "What about your father, Helle? Have you talked to him about your plans? Does he even want you aboard the Firebird?"

"I've asked him several times but he never tells me! It's always, 'Do what your heart and brain tell you to do" and never 'Here's what I want you to do.' He can be very frustrating as a dad sometimes but he's not a satellite parent always looking over my shoulder." Helle leaned back, braced on her arms, palms flat on the grass, and smiled up at her friends. "I want to take this. All the news and rumors sent me spinning. Logically, I'll have a good science lab, close proximity to the chief science officer, and I can keep an eye on my dad. But in the end, and I'm sorry T'Plin, it is my gut telling me to take this post."

T'Plin nodded. "It was my calculation that you would select the Firebird as your posting. I am not disappointed as long as you are satisfied with your selection both in the short term and the long term. Your Starfleet experience is uniquely yours. I congratulate you on selecting the first step in that experience, my friend," T'Plin said as he stood up. He held out his hand, fingers separated in a V. "Live long, and Prosper."

Helle let her impulse take over. She put her arms around T'Plin and gave a strong squeeze. "Sorry, you really got to my emotions there. Thank you, friend," she said.

Xeres let out a loud laugh. "Huzzah and congratulations my friend. I am envious of you and perhaps I can join you eventually. But please keep me posted on all of your doings." He gave Helle a slight tap on the shoulder as he stood up. "I am going to have to get back. I have some studying to do for the Starfleet Operations test."

"Thank Xeres, and Elin. You've all been super nice today when I really needed help with my brain struggles. Really, thank you. Our Academy days are about over but wherever I go in this galaxy, you'll be my favorite stars," said Helle.

Elin couldn't help but smile at her friend, even if she hadn't succeeded in convincing her to choose the safer path. "You'll keep us informed of how it is to be serving aboard an outcast ship, won't you?" she asked and placed her hand on Helle's arm. "If you don't like the Firebird, just let me know and I'll beg my future captain to request your transfer." Suddenly serious, she added, "Be safe out there."

"As safe as possible. I don't want to be one of those people who never hear from their Academy friends again. Watch your backs and stay in touch. I've got a letter to write." Her thoughts quickly went to the stars as she began composing a letter to Captain Llwyedd.

[OFF]

 

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