Spiraling

Posted on Wed Jan 1st, 2025 @ 1:47am by Captain Malcom Llwyedd & Ensign Helle Leed

813 words; about a 4 minute read

Mission: Mission 1: A Long Hard Road Ahead
Location: Gamma Quadrant
Timeline: Past and Present

[ON]
Helle sat alone in the dim light of the runabout’s lab, staring at a holographic projection of the alien energy beam. Her mug of replicated tea was in a small mug, both forgotten beside her as she cycled a PADD through data she’d already reviewed several dozen times. Once her scientific mind marveled at the elegance of the energy manipulation—how the devices amplified and redirected the beam to tear through spacetime itself, one molecule at a time. Their situation had tempered that to a drive to get home. Now they struggled to find the exact environmental conditions to dare try. Time drained her efforts from marvel to moderation to mechanical. She leaned back in her chair, rubbing her temples.

“Why did I come here?” she whispered, her voice barely audible to herself over the hum of the equipment. She pushed the PADD across the table and walked to the copilot’s chair. It shook when she fell back and wriggled comfortably into the back corner. Beyond lay the infinite shadow of space pierced by pinpricks of ancient lights. Even here she felt the tension crouched in every corner of the runabout. The crew was tired, worried, and pushing themselves to extremes. Helle heard voices in her head of the friends who had told her not to join the USS Firebird. Whispered warnings that punctuated her work in this foreign time and place.

Helle forced herself to look beyond the shuttle’s cockpit. She pressed against the chair and studied the colors of the stars. Her breath began to slow down in small increments as she inhaled the height depth and breadth of the galaxy. The four humans were mere atoms, their lives less than a blink to the billions of years this had existed. Helle had learned long ago that this calmed her. A solid foundation like the chair and the vastness of space. This made sense to her and, rather than diminish her, elated her with the histories, inventions, and struggles that many different species had accomplished. The galaxy might not notice her but she was drawn to know it and had found peace here. Perhaps this came from growing up on starships due to her parents’ positions in the Federation. Perhaps her soul simply yearned for connection.

She felt numbness in her hands and saw them wrapped pale-knuckled around the armrests. Helle sighed and did finger stretches. The wonder and discovery of their predicament thrilled the scientist in her but also created the iron weight that rested in her chest. Nothing seemed to get rid of the pressure. The weight. The mass was also like an organism that lived on her fears and shortcomings. Maybe she wasn’t giving her best effort. Maybe she chased the wrong theories in order to prove herself. Maybe she should have taken another assignment after all.

Her thoughts again spiraled inward, growing tighter and darker as they spun into her chest. Had she come to the Firebird for her own career, or to stay in her father’s shadow? Were they stuck here because she hadn’t been quick enough to do her job? What help is she to the team when the data feels like a riddle with no answer? Can she live with the possibility that she might never see her family again? Colder and tighter the umbral thoughts cycled a torus around her heart. As if from far away Winston’s voice reached her from the lab.

“Helle, check the viewscreen.”

She blinked and dragged her gaze up, and saw a distant spot of light brighter than any star around it. Judging by the fuzzy outline it was very far away and yet there was no missing the fiery eye. As if expecting the question that jumped to her mind, Winston continued, “The computer identified a star, labeled BD-A0711, as being a nova at this time. I made a couple of adjustments to where we were pointing. You’re looking at it. Pretty cool, right?”

Helle straightened up. Light from the beginning of time. Light that chased the shadows of her heart and burned up her fears. It was very cool. If Dad were here, what would he say? she thought. Never mind that; she knew. She could tell herself. None of her worries would matter if they didn't get back and every person had to do their part. Helle watched the burning sun for several marvelous minutes and then returned to the lab. She picked up the PADD and set a new plan of action. If the devices worked on a principle she didn’t understand, then she’d learn that principle. One molecule at a time if she had to.

[OFF]

Ensign Helle Leed (NPC by Leed)
Biologist
USS Firebird NCC-88298

 

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