Family Ties

Posted on Tue Mar 28th, 2023 @ 11:40pm by Captain Malcom Llwyedd & Lieutenant Commander Rhiana t'Aegis

2,734 words; about a 14 minute read

Mission: Prelude to Rebirth
Location: SS White Tiger
Timeline: 1 September, 2395

[ON]

"Have a seat, Xavi," Rhiana said with a gesture to the empty chairs around the small dining table in their family quarters aboard the SS White Tiger. They had been aboard for a few weeks already, the vessel having taken the long way to reach Earth from Deep Space Nine and while the luxury of this commercial vessel was an interesting change, Rhiana was ready to finally arrive at their destination.

Tonight would be their last night aboard.

Tomorrow, they would move into their temporary quarters on the Academy campus.

Tomorrow, she would meet with Starfleet Intelligence for the debriefing.

But tonight, she had to have one important conversation that she had been delaying for weeks. It was not that she dreaded the outcome of it, but... no, if she was being very honest with herself, she dreaded the possible outcome very much which was the main reason why she had been postponing this conversation again and again. But she could not do that again. She needed this to happen before they set foot on Earth.

"There is something I need to discuss with you."

Xavi slouched into the chair, a slight frown creasing his face. He'd been following all the rules that t'Aegis had dictated to him when they'd boarded the SS White Tiger. Most of them at least. He didn't know what he could have done to warrant a meeting like this. She looked... tense? Which was not something that he was used to. His guardian was many things but nervousness was not one he'd seen before.

"Ok?" he said. "Has there been some new threat?"

Had Rhiana been herself right now, she would immediately have told him to correct his posture. She hated it when he slouched. But tonight, she did not even frown.

Her hands were folded on the table in front of her and while this looked casual enough at first glance, at least for her, her knuckles were white from the pressure. She also needed several tentatives to be able to meet the boy's eyes. And then she did not know what to say. She had spent hours, days, having this conversation in her mind, testing different arguments, different approaches. And now? All was gone, save for a few half-sentences here and there.

"Xavi," Rhiana said eventually, breaking the silence and hoping not to make a complete fool out of herself. "We have never spoken about this, though I have been thinking about it for some time. And with what happened recently..." She trailed off, only to pick up again half a second later in a slightly firmer tone. "It is fairly commonplace in the Empire, but there are procedures for this in the Federation as well. It is likely not as easy as in the Empire nor as fast, certainly not in our situation. I want to protect you, Xavi, and this may help. At least I hope so. But the decision is yours. I will respect it. Even if you refuse, I will still protect you. Do everything to keep you safe." She swallowed, hating herself for blabbering, fighting back emotions she was not willing to deal with, hating herself for having failed the boy. She gave herself a mental kick and cleared her throat. "What do you say?"

Xavi frowned. "What do I say to what? What kind of procedure are you talking about? Are you suggesting that I undergo some kind of surgery to change my face?" He asked. "I would never do that. I am a Romulan. If Sela's people come for me again or the Tal Shiar, I will fight them as myself, not as some other Romulan. I might not be a warrior like you, yet, but I have paid attention to your training and I would rather fight like you than hide like a coward." Inside he was angry, although he didn't show it. Did she think so little of him? That he was a child?

The boy's reaction startled Rhiana and she looked at him in astonishment. What was he talking about?? She mentally went through what she remembered of what she had just told him and, understanding, let out a very uncharacteristic little groan. Her shoulders sagged somewhat and she exhaled slowly as she unclasped her hands and rubbed her eyes with the pads of her fingers. "I know you would, Xavi. And I would never suggest to you that you should change your face," she replied, lowering her hands and speaking in an equally uncharacteristically soft voice. "I am sorry for not having been clearer." She inhaled deeply and looked straight at the boy. "I would like to... to offer to adopt you, Xavi."

Xavi didn't know what to say. The past two years with t'Aegis had been the most fun and exciting and informative of his life. His time with the Techlons, fighting against the Refam had been subsistence living and had nearly broken him. He'd had his mother's shuttle and the echoes of her to help barely sustain him in that barren place. But Rhiana t'Aegis had saved him and helped him grow into a true Romulan. She'd protected him. Come for him when no other would have. She'd changed her life for him and helped him find a home among the crew of the Firebird. She could be distant and cold and harsh at times. But he caught her looking at him sometimes with warmth and... gratitude? For some reason, she cared for him and wanted to keep caring for him. And he cared for her. Xavi sat up straight in the chair.

"Rhiana t'Aegis, you honor me. I can never repay you for all you have done for me and have given me. I would be proud to call you mother. I believe my birth mother..." Xavi said and then his voice broke. He took a deep breath, swallowed, and continued. Tears leaked from his eyes in slow rivulets. "She would have approved of you. And I think she would have liked you as well. I feel her presence here with us," he said, feeling embarrassed but forging ahead. "If you are to be my mother, then I feel that you should know my true name, given to me by my birth parents." He locked gazes with her. "I am Xikeno, son of Jotim, son of Tihetha, and now, if you choose, son of t'Aegis. I accept your offer."

The word 'mother' coming out of Xavi's mouth with reference to her hit Rhiana like a Nausicaan's punch to the stomach. Though it was not quite unexpected, it still carried more weight coming from the boy than what she had imagined in her mind. Nevertheless, a wave of immense relief washed over her and some of the weight she had carried around with her for the past few months disappeared.

She continued to listen as the boy talked about his birth mother, not knowing how to feel about it. Her eyes widened in surprise when he mentioned his true name and when he told her, she could not help but laugh - amused and proud and relieved at the same time.

"Your parents taught you well," she said approvingly and still smiling, remembering when she first met him as an angry, insecure boy on that Elements-forsaken planet. It seemed like a lifetime ago. "I am honoured to welcome you into House s'Aegis, Xikeno. While I cannot offer you the same ceremony that was held when I was adopted, I can and will teach you everything about s'Aegis once we are settled in San Francisco." The old Rhiana was back, efficient and business-minded, as she pulled a PADD towards herself. "For now, it is important that we begin the adoption process in the Federation." She tapped on the PADD for a moment, then slid it over to Xikeno. "These are the required documents. Please read, add any incomplete information and sign them. I suggest we keep 'Xavi' as your official firstname for the Federation." Indeed, she had already filled the form accordingly. "Do you have questions?"

“Yes. When can you begin teaching me advanced combat training. I need to know what you know. You can’t be with me all the time, especially if I’m in school, surrounded by so many strangers. I understand how much of a threat my existence is to people. I want to fight them,” Xavi said, his face turning serious.

Rhiana leaned back in her chair and studied the boy in silence for a few moments. His request did not come as a surprise. She had been waiting for it. While they had managed to avoid speaking about his abduction in detail, she could imagine what he was going through. He needed to be empowered again and advanced combat training was an excellent way of doing that.
"Very well," she agreed. "We will begin with the training once we are properly settled in." She raised a hand to prevent him from interrupting her. "It may be in a few days or only in a few weeks. I cannot say how long the debriefing with Starfleet Intelligence will take. In the meantime, I have arranged for you to attend counselling sessions twice a week while we are on Earth."

"Counseling!" Xavi exclaimed. "I don't need counseling sessions. What I need is to be ready for next time so that nobody can hurt me again." He lowered his eyes, his mind returning to the cell that his captors had held him in for so long. It was only later that he'd learned they were Tal Shiar. He'd been certain that it had been Sela herself. He could still feel the coldness of the cell sometimes. He feared it had seeped into the marrow of his bones and he would never be rid of it. Or of the memories.

"Exactly," Rhiana agreed with Xavi. She was not surprised by his outburst - she had expected it. "I can relate to what you are going through, Xikeno. Right now, you feel vulnerable and insecure, which makes you angry. You feel that you need to show everybody that you are not afraid, that you can simply shake off being abducted and held captive for what must have felt like an eternity, without knowing what would happen to you." She kept her eyes on the boy while she spoke, calmly and in a low voice. "Know that the people in the Federation do not see counselling as something negative nor will anyone ever judge you for undergoing it."

Xavi rolled his eyes. As if he cared about what the Federation people thought of him. But he did care what t'Aegis thought of him. If she was to be his adopted mother, he would have to learn to master his anger. He also knew the look she was giving him. He'd see it many times before. When he'd refused to wear the issued uniforms because they weren't made of the abaxua hides he'd worn back on Techlon. Or when he'd thrown the replicator food against the wall. Or any number of times when he hadn't understood the why of things. But every time she'd been right. And he could see that now.

"I will agree to once a week," he said, crossing his arms.

"This is not a negotiation," Rhiana replied matter-of-factly but not unkindly. "You will attend counselling sessions twice a week at least until we return to the Firebird unless the counsellor clears you before that. I expect your active participation in these sessions. They will help you become mentally stronger. While we are on Earth, you and I will work on your combat skills and physical fitness three times per week. In addition to that, I expect excellent results in your schoolwork. Or do you think that I demand too much of you?"

"No, I can do everything you ask," he said, lowering his eyes. "I will excel in my coursework, I promise you. I will not disgrace
you. But I can't promise you that I will do well in the counseling. I will try to find the value there that you describe."

"Counselling is not about getting good grades," Rhiana stated, then hesitated. She did not easily share details of her life with anyone except maybe for Bokot, but he seemed to know everything about her anyway. And Xavi was not 'anybody' either. He was the child she had never hoped of having and she wanted for his life not to be dominated by traumata. "Counselling is not easily available for a Galae officer," she began slowly. "I will not go into details, for they are not relevant right now, but my life would have been very different had I have had access to a counsellor when I was only a few years older than you." And if Romulan society had had different views on certain types of actions.

"Instead, I fled into physical exercise and substance abuse." She paused for a moment to let that sink in, but continued to speak before Xavi could interrupt her and before she could change her mind about sharing. "I overcame the addiction eventually with the help of a friend, but it was a brutal process and only dealt with the physical aspects of it. I...," Rhiana swallowed. Even now, years later, it was difficult for her to speak about it, to admit yet another weakness. "Shortly after the Hobus disaster, I returned to substance abuse. At one point, I was close to committing suicide. This time, physical exercise was of no help. So I did the unthinkable: I became a traitor. The Federation took me in and offered counselling. I refused, of course. I was fine. But when I applied to join Starfleet Academy, they made it a condition for me to undergo counseling. So I did. I was resistant at the beginning, but I realised eventually that it was not a hidden interrogation. The counselor was truly trying to help me. And they did. They helped me overcome the addiction and work through some of the other issues. Without the counseling sessions, I would likely have tried to commit suicide again and would have been successful. We would not be sitting here right now. You might have died on Far Wanderer or would now be in a Federation foster family. Or dead at the hands of the Tal Shiar or Sela."

Xavi's world tilted in his head. t'Aegis had spoken of weakness?!. He went over her words in his head again. Finally, he said, slowly. "You say the Federation's counselors are responsible for helping you become a strong leader? And stopped you from dying." He was talking both to himself and to his guardian, thinking through the implications. "I... I am very glad that you are in my life. I would not have thought that talking to counselors would be so effective."

Rhiana could not quite suppress a brief, bemused smile at the mention of her becoming a strong leader. "Make no mistake. They kept me from trying to commit suicide again, but they did not make me a leader. When I arrived in the Federation, I had been a Galae officer for almost twenty years. Ask anyone on the Firebird whether they think my style of leadership is typical for a Starfleet officer." Another brief smile crossed her face at that since she could imagine quite a few of those answers, but she quickly became serious again. "Noone can nor will force you to speak about anything you do not want to speak about, Xikeno. If the counselor is trying to pressure you into anything you truly do not want, tell me. But I do ask you to keep an open mind and accept help when it is offered. Now," she continued, her tone changing to more business-like. "If you do not have any questions or comments, let us get dinner. From tomorrow on, we will have to rely more on replicators again." A harsh change after weeks of actual, cooked food, prepared by a real chef that rivaled Kalstri.

[OFF]

Lieutenant Commander Rhiana t'Aegis
Second Officer/Chief Security/Tactical Officer
USS Firebird NCC-88298

Xavi (NPC by Llwyedd)
Rhiana's Ward

 

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