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Emotions run high

Posted on Thu Mar 30th, 2017 @ 1:52am by Lieutenant Jackson Smith

Jacskon sat down at his desk, a very long day. "Personal Log 13 February, 2394 -2330 Hours. It has been a very long and stressful day. The landing of the ship, well that seemed the simplest of it. The most difficult part was sitting on the bridge while others were in danger. I learned a lot from the captain on the bridge today. End log."

Well there you go starfleet, enjoy reading that log. Jackson thought. Jackson had held his emotions in during the Action Report, but now they flooded forward. His feelings of uselessness swirled with guilt, anger, and even love. Jackson closed his eyes and let himself be engulfed by it. He had to make a choice, to close it all off or to let it become a part of him. Jackson knew that it was dangerous to let his emotions free, his past would eventually overcome him, but he wanted to feel the closeness of family again. The companionship that this ship offered him. His thoughts strayed to the captain, someone that could be a father to him, help him stay this path. His thoughts moved to JJ, Gantt, and Rhesha, they could be friends maybe even brothers. Jackson's thoughts moved onto Kipp, he was an interesting person. Perhaps Kipp could help him settle the emotions of his past? Meditation could be the answer. Jackson decided to meet up with Kipp and see if he could train with him. Then there was Luka, she seemed so vulnerable at times, he couldn't help but want to protect her, his feelings for Luka were mixed but she felt more like a little sister than anything else. Finally there was Nici, how did he feel about her? More than friends? It was so hard to separate out all his thoughts and emotions.

Then thoughts of his past came forward, his past father figure...Jackson felt a punch in the gut of grief and guilt. He took in some deep breaths. It was too much, Jackson shut off the emotions, released the coldness. He was not ready.

 

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